I’ve come to realize that baby’s first Christmas is not going to be as eventful as we may have hoped. Simply because my ten-month-old daughter doesn’t really understand the concept of gifts, Santa and Christmas Holidays as a whole yet, and that’s ok! But if there was a Christmas wish list letter that my ten-month-old daughter could make for Santa herself I’m sure it would look like this…..along with every other infant on the planet.
Dear Santa,
I am a 10-month-old baby and I write because my mother has been sending out my “Christmas List” to people, and her list does not in any way represent the things I really want. I could give two s#*ts about receiving stacking cups.
My list is enclosed below. Have a lovely holiday.
Signed,
A 10-Month-Old Baby
Everybody’s Eyeglasses
I pull these off the face of every person I meet, only to have them pried from my fingers and reclaimed by their original owners. I would love a pair of my own. Again, these are going to be for eating.
Handfuls of the cat’s Fur
This stuff is the best. I keep trying to pull it off but she moves frequently, making collection difficult. My favorite thing to do with it is put it in my mouth and then immediately realize that I didn’t want it in my mouth.
The Hallway Light
I spend hours looking at this light in the sky. I know that I cannot “have” a light in the sky…it’s not a thing that can be had. And yet this is supposed to be a list of the things I want, and I want this light in the hallway like Gandhi wanted peace. The way my mother wants me to stop pulling off her eyeglasses.
The Cat’s Food
Every time I get close to this, someone pulls me away. If they don’t want me to eat it, why is it on the floor?
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